I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
