Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
