I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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