Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
