He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
