Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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