I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You are a genius and a whore.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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