Don't make out with my wife yet
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i need some magic done to my vagina
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
