She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
