The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
