Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
