I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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