Cold hands, warm shart.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
