So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
