GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
third nipple confirmed
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
