I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
