You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
