youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
