I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
