that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
