I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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