My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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