I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
