apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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