You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
