Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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