dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
