I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All I want is dick and wine.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
