can we get nightvision for the apartment?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
