OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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