I just saw a hot homeless man
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
