Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
