"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
