So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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