Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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