It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
