Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
