Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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