Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
