It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
