Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
