I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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