So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
