Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Still dying that you shit outside
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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