she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
