That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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