man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
