The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
