I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
