who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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