her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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