Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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